Everyone will occasionally have sinful thoughts and actions during their Christian walk. Sometimes the most challenging sinful thoughts come when someone else sins against us. Forgiveness can be hard. Sometimes it seems impossible. How do we forgive others when they don’t deserve it?
A good example is when the Apostle Peter denied Jesus during His arrest and trial. After the Lord’s Supper, Jesus predicted that His disciples would fall away. “But Peter declared. ‘Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.’ And all the other disciples said the same” (Matthew 26:35, NIV).
However, during the trial, Peter did disown Jesus three times. “After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, ‘Surely you are one of them, for your accent gives you away.’ Then he began to call down curses on himself, and he swore to them, ‘I don’t know the man!’ Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: ‘Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.’ And he went outside and wept bitterly” (Matthew 26:74-75, NIV).
Jesus could be fully justified in not forgiving Peter, but that’s not what He chose to do. After His resurrection, Jesus reinstated Peter. “The third time, he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time. ‘Do you love me?’ He said, ‘Lord, you know all things, you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Feed my sheep'” (John 21:17, NIV).
Jesus makes forgiving seem easy, but He is also fully God. As sinful humans who are not God, we sometimes struggle with forgiveness.
In early adulthood, I was attacked and injured. Unfortunately, this injury did not completely heal. The pain from this injury would return when I was physically active. I suffered from this pain until midlife when a specialist performed my needed surgery. (Thanks to my wife, who found this doctor and connected me with him.)
During those years of pain, I often would catch myself wishing I could take revenge for what had happened. Over sixty years later, I still catch myself occasionally tempted by these thoughts. That is not pleasing to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I continue to pray and search Scripture for answers. God used the Apostles (Paul, Peter, and others) to instruct us on how to proceed with forgiveness.
Before we get into that, I need to say something important. If you are in a situation where someone is hurting you (physically, mentally, or otherwise), get to a safe place and get help. Here is a website with more information on how to do that. Once you are safe, you can begin the journey toward forgiveness (even if you never see that person again). Counseling can help in this process.
The journey toward forgiveness begins with the understanding that just as God forgave us when we didn’t deserve it, we need to forgive those who have harmed us (physically, mentally, or otherwise). “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8, NIV). “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV).
Secondly, forgiveness is a continual process. We must take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:15) and ask God to help us forgive when we are tempted to cling to bitterness and unforgiveness. It is God’s place to judge, not ours (Luke 6:37-38). “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: … and [Jesus] became obedient to death-even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:5, 8, NIV).
We can stand up under any temptation, regardless of intensity or length, when we humbly rely on Jesus and trust Him to see us through it. “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can hear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13, NIV).
“I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:12b-14, NIV).
Below is my prayer from Scripture for all of you and myself. “I urge you, brothers [and sisters] by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me. Pray that I may be rescued from the unbelievers… and that my service… may be acceptable… The God of peace be with you all. Amen” (Romans 15:30, 31 NIV).
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