How do you know if a child is ready to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior? It’s a question important to parents, caregivers, and children’s leaders.
Today we’re going to look at three key factors to consider. We’ll also discuss what to do if your child is not ready and explain how kids are like crockpots (slow cookers).
Before we begin, there are a few words of caution we need to address.
Words of Caution
There are no age limits in Scripture. God drew me to Christ as a very young child. Others come to Christ on their deathbed (like the thief on the cross). God doesn’t play by human rules. He does what He wants when He wants to do it. Our job is to ask the Holy Spirit to show us how the Lord is at work. We never want to be guilty of hindering children from entering the kingdom of God.
“But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Luke 18:16 NIV
Be careful about your own preconceptions! Some kids believe but have trouble voicing their beliefs. Don’t get hung up on the “right” words. You’re looking for the child’s heart.
Also, remember that some kids (and adults) don’t think as clearly when put on the spot. Try to create a comfortable, relaxed, and open atmosphere for these conversations. It works even better if the child has a relationship with the person asking the questions.
Along those lines, NEVER criticize a child for “getting it wrong” or giving the wrong answer. This is not a test. You’re just looking for how the Holy Spirit is working in their heart. It’s not your job to push them into the kingdom of God. (Attempts to do that often backfire!) The Holy Spirit draws hearts to Jesus.
“What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.” 1 Cor. 3:5-7 NIV
Some kids are very aware of what makes adults happy and what makes them upset. As a result, they lie and develop excellent acting skills to give adults what they want. Pray your way through these conversations. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you discernment and clear direction. He will. It also helps to know if the child has a history of lying. Again, be careful! God can change a person’s heart and remove that aspect of their character. Just ask the Holy Spirit to show you the child’s heart.
1. Do they have a clear understanding of sin?
This can be a tricky one. Some kids are eager to please and memorize the definitions we repeat again and again. There’s nothing wrong with that (and repetition is a good teaching tool), but it’s not enough.
It also is not an automatic “they’re not ready” if they can’t spout off a definition of sin.
Here’s what you’re looking for in your conversation.
Do they understand the concept of sin?
This could be as simple as demonstrating an awareness that some things are wrong. I’ve often heard the terms “good choices” and “bad choices.” All of those fall under this category.
Can they give some examples of sin?
Again, caution is needed here. It’s easy to see fault (sin) in other people, but it takes the Holy Spirit to convict of us of sin in our own hearts and lives.
Is the child naming the sins of other people or sins they have done?
Do they show contrition for their sin?
Do you know someone who brags about what they’ve gotten away with under the nose of those in authority? That’s the opposite of what we’re looking for here.
“Peter replied, ‘Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.‘” Acts 2:38 NIV
2. How do they think you get to heaven?
Be sure to keep your question open-ended here. (“How does a person get to heaven?” “Tell me more about that.”) Resist the urge to ask leading questions. (“Do you get to heaven by believing in someone?”)
There are lots of possible answers. You’re looking for something about Jesus. Anything else (being good, going to church, reading the Bible, believing in God, etc.) shows that they’re not ready quite yet. (More on that later.)
“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'” John 14:6 NIV
3. Do they believe in Jesus and what He did for us?
Do they know that Jesus died on the cross and came back to life again?
Do they know why Jesus died? Do they know that Jesus took our punishment for sin?
Do they know that if we believe in Jesus, we will be saved?
Do they believe these things in their heart or just know them in their head? Again, ask the Holy Spirit to show you the difference.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 NIV
Don’t overcomplicate things.
That’s it. Don’t overcomplicate it. That’s a problem adults tend to have. We think it’s too simple. It’s not.
“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Rom. 10:9 NIV
Don’t stop there!!!
Although that’s all it takes to become a child of God, that’s not the end.
This is a mistake too often made with children.
Please don’t think it’s enough to say, “They believe in Jesus. Check, that’s done.” It’s like the adults believe that now that the child has a ticket to heaven, they’ve finished the race, and they’re done. No, no, NO! This spiritual race is just beginning (Heb. 12:1-2).
We MUST disciple new Christians, no matter how old they are. They must learn to read the Bible (when they learn how to read). They must learn to pray. They must learn to live for Jesus. They must learn to serve others. They must learn about spiritual gifts. They must learn to tell others about Jesus. They must be equipped to run the marathon of the Christian life.
What if the child isn’t ready?
You have not failed! It just means that the Holy Spirit is still working in their heart. Keep praying for them. Keep telling them about Jesus. Keep discipling them. Keep showing them what it looks like to live for Jesus, serve Him, love others, and share the Gospel. God will show you when your child is ready.
Years ago, I heard a great analogy from a children’s minister. (I’m sorry, I can’t remember who.) They said kids are not like microwaves where you pop in the Gospel and instantly pop out young Christians. That’s not how it works. Kids are more like crockpots (slow cookers). Some just need to simmer a bit longer. And that’s OK.
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